What is banana called in hindi ? As I give the movie away. He said, "Eye really sclera about you a lot. 'I haven't been feeling myself lately', Sheamus replied. One of the questions was How do you stir sugar into your tea?. When they arrived, the nurse asked, How dilated is she, sir?. Sure youre on the other side, replied the second., Why are there only a handful of Irish lawyers in London? Turn back from the path of sin!, What?! Or looking for Irish jokes for kids? Shite replied the barman What do you have? A tenner replied Ben.. Posted on Last updated: December 19, 2022. 86. Who can help you with the case if you lose your glass eyeball? I asked her why she drew the eyebrows that high and she seems surprised! Similar one liners I think that if I died and went straight to hell it would take me at least a week to realize I wasn't at work anymore. And says "Oi! A lad from Clare went to his local doctor with cramps from constipation. These , https://www.instagram.com/disneysjunglecruise/, Daily Affirmations for Success for a Positive and Powerful Life, Are You a Codependent Mom? It got too warm in the cockpit so he switched off the fan! Why did the one eyed banker lose his job? Q: What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow? Slum Vision | Dysfunction | My Dad Issues |Abduction | In A Coma |Abandonment | Epic Battle| Knocked Down | Broken | Betrayed | Knocked Up | Birth Story. He said, "I'm retina cornea joke today. Names. To which the Chinese man replies "Noh, I drive Lincoln Coninenal. She said, I loved it. You'd get called to the circus. 45 minutes. Well, he saw it with his eyes. 2. Doctors who study and later examine patients' eyes and advise them on their problems and diseases are called optometrists. Youre not the first to reject me! And Im sharing fun facts and details from that interview below! 92. Quotes and One Liners humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more. Something a woman does while a guy is screwing her. The vet looks at Banta and says, "You look like a strong man, why don`t you give it a try." My mission is to help moms find peace, break cycles, and feel whole so they can be present, peaceful, and positive moms. What did one eyeball say to the other? Have you heard about the optometrist that brought his daughter to a chamber? Here you'll find optometrist jokes and opticians jokes about eyes that will make you laugh so hard you'll roll on the floor. 108. One says,"We'll kill him!" Signs of crossed eyes. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''. 56. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. We didn't see eye to eye. That you can't ever go back. And says "Oi! 34. Miscellaneous Eyes Other expressions. I am not, the neighbour replied, Theyre both for me., An English lawyer was sat with his Irish client. Cross-eyed treatments can vary depending on the situation. Lets see how they like listening to the little b*stard! 19 likes. Stop! she says to him. The cat will be cross-eyed if both eyes are misguided towards the nose. A: I hear the doctor is taking us out tonight! Read to the end they do get better. He said, "I've been framed, sir.". the funniest joke ever told in the history of the universe 1. You know, before this I worked in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. OK none of these jokes are going to be overly filthy, because this is a site for all the family. Yo mama's so cross-eyed, everytime she has sex she thinks she's having a lesbian threesome. "Shit!!!" Oh my God she replied. 18. Such a wonderful press conference and interview. Why do doctors say carrots are good for our eyes? I dont know how many times we mustve shot that. JungleCruiseis the perfect summer adventure film, bringing a beloved theme park attraction to both the big screen and living rooms in a way that only Disney can. 35. What do you call an Irishman with a case of chickenpox? 24. So they fight in a different way. Its like a big thing. What is the banana listening to it called ? Our recommended activities are based on age but these are a guide. Disclaimer: I left themajorityof the more offensive Irish jokes to the end, but one of the lads sent me this in a text and I thought it was gas (Irish slang for funny)! Johnson jokingly refers to Blunt as The female Indiana Jones.. Paddy asks when he sees the look on Sheamus's face. But a good eye might, What do you call a deer with one eye? Have you seen that movie about a pig that didn't have any eyes? They think they're funny. What an amazing opportunity! Did you. A: You can at least ignore a blond safely. 62. Ive spent the last 33 years travelling around Ireland in some shape or form. Whats a Heron with only one eye? Strabismus can affect one eye or both eyes. Exhaustion can also make your eyes cross, among other things. Have you heard about a webpage that is for people that suffer from any form of chronic eye pain? What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman? ( The average I.Q in USA went up by 50% ). 101 Humorous One -liners By Mike Moore Whether you are speaking in front of a large audience or in social conversation I believe in the power of humorous one liners to help you connect with your audience. Turns out, she was seeing someone else. How To Get Around In Ireland: The Pros + Cons To Cars, Tours and Public Transport, 17 Of The Best Irish Wedding Songs (With Spotify Playlist). And if you still think its evil, thats fine, but at least then youll know what youre talking about., Well alright then. I need you. You tr-eye-d your best.". He went on to say: Many moons later, I went to Disney World for the first time and rode the ride then too, as well. Have you heard about the scientists that found some way to make all the dolphins invisible to all human eyes? What do Irish ghosts drink on Halloween? An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman wander into a little old pub in Kildare. Why did the teacher have to start wearing sunglasses? 3. Anto and his wife were lying in bed in their house in Dublin one Saturday morning. 91. Whats the bad news? Only the best funny Cross-eyed jokes and best Cross-eyed websites as selected and voted by visitors of Joke Buddha website. We exist to make planning your Irish Road Trip easy. "Just because he's cross-eyed?" They use eye-pods. Learn how your comment data is processed. Well send you tons of inspiration to help you find a hidden gem in your local area or plan a big day out. Ive put the little b*stard in our garden. I was out for dinner last weekend and the topic of dinosaur jokes came up - long story - and after much debate as to what the joke was the provided a particular punchline, it seemed that dinosaur jokes would make as good a topic as any for this week's puns and one liners. 50. Have you ever actually had a drink yourself?, Well of course I havent, what a ridiculous question., Then you dont know what youre talking about., I dont need to taste the demon drink to know that its evil!, Look, how about this - I will buy you a drink. Names. How do you make a pool table laugh? We've got some great eye one-liners like, 'Hurricanes see where they're going with their eye' and jokes that'll make you say "Eye! It can affect either one or both eyes. The only drawback is only two can play. Yes, this is another potentially offensive and dirty Irish joke involving sheep. The Englishman pushes his pint away in disgust and orders up another. Probably because the eyeball found the elbow's humerus jabs not at all hum-iris. It was 25 minutes long, guys. What do you call a fella from Dundalk with 400 girlfriends? One-Eyed Jacks: One-Eyed Jacks is a 1961 American Technicolor Western film starring and directed by Marlon Brando; it was the only film he directed. Why are our eyes undoubtedly the most important part of the body? Add your one liner to our site and see how good it is. 60. 106. ", "Denise actually, I quite like that. What is a lost banana called ? We also link to other websites, but are not responsible for their content. What did the right eye mention to the left one when they were having an argument? says the vet. Search in the largest collection of one liners and puns. He said, "Your eyes are so blue, I lose myself at see.". He said, "Eye will allow it.". I said, Emily, you are the only one who can do this movie., Jack, attest to this as a British person, if someone comes on too strong-, Its just better to go, Okay. cross-eyed adjective uk / krsad / us / krsad / having eyes that look in towards the nose SMART Vocabulary: cc t lin quan v cc cm t Eyesight, glasses & lenses accommodative afterimage age-related macular degeneration AMD astigmatic bespectacled bifocals boss-eyed eyestrain goggles macular degeneration monocular multifocal naked Why did the optometrist want to go to the movie theater? The Garda turns to the second fella and asks the same question. Why couldn't the cyclops stop crying? It said, "Between you and me, something smells. Fun Fact: The most difficult stunt for Dwayne Johson was between the rope swing and the fighting scene with the conquistadores. Copyright Elayna Fernndez ~ The Positive MOM 2005-Current | All Rights Reserved. Do you know a funny one liner? Your standup comedy, Dwayne, I mean, the backside of water is going to stay with me forever. yo mama' so cross-eyed when she sees a bird, you don't know if it's up or down It's named the unicornea. What did the eyes say when they finally got the glasses? He was fired for only having one good pupil throughout his 6 year career. 9. What is the definition of "making love"? Why did the cross-eyed teacher lose her job? Love sharing with your friends and family? 11. "No, because hes heavy," says the vet. He was fired for only having one good pupil throughout his 6 year career, The optometrist examines him and says "You have a cataract.". (Ex: Picture, trash can, door knob) Step 2: Make a triangular hand symbol. One of the men said to the other, "Please help yourself." The other one said "Okay", and helped himself to the larger fish. Yeah, they put the squeeze on me. What am I? When I say I am a bad electrician somebody gets shocked and my community still wonders why. If a man holds a bee in his hand, what does he have in his eye? Havent you been dreaming of another adventure? He should have been home from work 3 hours ago? The man sighed. After five minutes he shouted to the cop, Here! The teacher has to wear sunglasses just because his students are so bright. Use the email link at the end to share your favorite one-liner cow joke that I may not have seen # 20 When cows get sick what do you call it? The Positive MOM may be a proud affiliate of trusted, tried providers mentioned on this site, and may be compensated for your purchase(s). Because they had good moistur-eyes-er. Wheres my husband? 80. I assure you all of these are entirely necessary to my survival. Black-Eyed Susans Quotes Showing 1-30 of 33. How did the wonderful carpenter cut the piece of wood by looking at it? Because if they closed both eyes they wouldn't be able to see. Theres probably a handful of great bad Irish jokes below, along with some shite ones, too. (My mom) said, Why didnt you tell me? Because he heard it helps break the eyes. He's a ledge. We remain focused on offering consumer choice during these unprecedented times, and it is clear that fans and families value the ability to make decisions on how they prefer to enjoy Disneys best-in-class storytelling.. 39. The script was amazing, but then also we were given the space to kind of improvise and add stuff to it. What did the sailor say to the optometrist? The other lad filling them in. Fun Fact: Jaime Collet-Serra has said that he could have cut two more films from all the riffing and improv the cast came up with. Why are eyes puns not puns? Why did the phone start wearing glasses? The secretary's office is that way. The secretarys office is that way. Im also quite sure she was seeing somebody on the side. Two blondes are walking down the road when one says "Look at that dog with one eye!" The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says "Where?" One Liners and Short Jokes Why do army snipers close one eye while shooting? How many optometrists are needed to screw in one light bulb? One liner tags: life 63.72 % / 31 votes. ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. What kind of vision do all the sanitation workers have? Because a bad eye cant "Tired" isn't even a temporary state for me anymore it's more like a part of my personality at this point. #9 a vampire at a blood bank. 41. 30. 74. Full or partial reproduction or duplication without the author's express written consent is strictly prohibited and will be considered copyright infringement. One liner tags: people, puns, sarcastic 79.11 % / 1326 votes. What did the judge have to say about a bad eye pun said during the trial? 8. 4. The bone doctor's jokes were pretty humerus, but the jokes of the optometrist were too cornea. The bulls` eyes begin to straighten, but the vet soon looses his breath and the bulls` eyes are crossed again. We strive to recommend the very best things that are suggested by our community and are things we would do ourselves - our aim is to be the trusted friend to parents. One eyed ghosts. 14. Why'd the one eyed man marry the shallow girl? 'Op in!" What do you call a dinosaur with one eye Doyouthinkhesawus. He said, "I can't see myself going to work today.". What did the husband mention to his wife at their wedding? Probably because he lost all his contacts. This is to eye for.". A Paddy-long-legs., What do Irish ghosts drink on Halloween? Q: What do you call a lamb with a machine gun? Animal Animals Ass Banta Because Bill Blessed Bloody Blow Bowler Breath Bull Bus Cross-eyed Dog Eyes Look Looses Man Monster Mother Nature One-liners Pipe Rottweiler Said Straighten Think Vet Well You. Intermittent exotropia: In this type of strabismus, one eye will fixate (concentrate) on a target while the other eye is pointing outward. A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said to him, "My dogs cross-eyed. 70. Why do hunters close one eye when they aim? Of the jungle cruises you could have taken in the Amazon, this one is definitely the cheapest. What happens if you have the heart of the lion and the eye of the tiger? Anonymous. 82. It's pretty cute until it poops on your head." "I'm skeptical of anyone who tells me they do yoga every day. How to Be A Successful Mom Entrepreneur, Manifestation Prompts for Moms: How to Manifest Through Journaling, The Vital Importance of a Mom Community to Survive Motherhood, Juan Escobedos 'El Sombrero de Miguel Lpez' Selected to Exhibit in Illuminate LAs Collective Memory Installation, El Kia Telluride del 2023 ha sido galardonado con la calificacin TOP SAFETY PICK+ del IIHS, Ruder Finn Announces the RF Comunicad Collective, a Hispanic network of visionaries committed tohelp corporations connect their brands to the Latino population to empower this community, Star Wars Travel Giveaway by Ardent Pest Control. Well, are you feeling any better?, asked the doctor. Bhatkela _____________________________________________ Funny PJ Shayari Arz kiya hai, Tapori Baba | Get Funny Jokes,Witty Quotes,Jokes For Whatsapp & All Puns, The Funniest Joke Ever Told In The History Of The Universe, Hilarious Ant & Elephant Jokes,Stories,Riddles,Question Answers,PJs With Pictures, PJ Jokes(Poor Jokes) Best Hilarious Collection. It's a fun kind of song." Any information you provide to us via this website may be placed by us on servers located in countries outside the EU if you do not agree to such placement, do not provide the information. Get your cameras out. Did you hear about the cashier that scanned the eyes of one rude customer with his barcode reader? Q: What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil? The Black Eyed Peas. Eyes help us see and appreciate the beauty of the world as we know it. It exclaimed, "Eye'm back! Blinker fluid. Outside work, her interests include music, movies, travel, philanthropy, writing her blog, and reading. They have always been blue. Hello. What would you call the eyeball who just got a pilot's license? #10 a dog licking its butt. We didn't see eye to eye. What would you call a fish that didn't have any eyes? If youre looking for some funny Irish jokes, the ones below should give you a giggle! 29. I really loved it! Put on an eyes pack. Chief. How do I get to the other side of the river?, shouted one lad to the other. 48. What are eye drops in technical terms? The chemistry between the actors was palpable in the interview. It's about a schoolgirl prostitute but not in such coarse terms. What would you call a dinosaur that has no eyes? Kidadl is supported by you, the reader. Why didn't the optometrist want to learn any jokes? Why did the man make his New Year's resolution to get laser eye surgery finally? Adult Content: There are two kisses and one suggestive comment about sexuality. Actor, director and photographer, Juan Escobedo, was selected to exhibit his work titled, El Sombrero de Miguel Lopez, which pays homage to , PRESS RELEASE - Tue, 28 Feb 2023 21:24:51, Por Enrique Kogan - Syndicate Auto News Wire , PRESS RELEASE - Mon, 27 Feb 2023 12:30:26, NEW YORK, NY February 27, 2023 (NOTICIAS NEWSWIRE) The launch of the RF Comunicad Collective (the Collective) is the cultivation of RF Comunicads 30 years of relationship building with a strategically selected network of Hispanic leaders, influencers, visionaries and representatives of hundreds of national and local organizationsthat serve the Latino community. 28. Akela 3. 9. What's the difference between your wife and your job? A week later the lad comes back. Is that one or two? So the other blonde covers an eye with her hand and says, "Where?". And Jaime was so good at encouraging that as well. Names. He said, "Eye hope you start feeling better soon". Why were the eyelid and the eyebrows always fighting? 37. Did you hear about the fella from Mayo that was born with two left feet? Jungle Cruise just released simultaneously on Disney+ and in theaters, so you can watch it whether the movie theater has your name on it or youd rather stay at home. 4-Step Eye Dominance Test. Top Signs of Codependency in Motherhood, What is Mompreneurship? What do you call a deer with only one eye? Some jokes can be so bad that theyre actually good. We need that. A Chinese man goes to an optometrist complaining of blurriness in one eye Ninety two percent of cross-eyed teachers have difficulty controlling their pupils. What did one eye say to the other? Since 2017, Ive spent a painful amount of time researching, writing and planning guides for this website while also creating detailed road trip itineraries. Why do snipers always close one eye when they aim? Did you hear that the police found the eye case hard to solve? Fun Fact: Jack Whitehall actually had a part in Frozen! How can you make someone's eyes twinkle? He then begins to blow. I stir it in with my right, replied the second. He asks the first fella for his name and address. "The police are looking for a man with one eye named Murphy." What would you call a deer with no eyes? To a low vision center. Itll take over your life! cross-eye noun krs- 1 : strabismus in which the eye turns inward toward the nose 2 cross-eyes plural : eyes affected with cross-eye cross-eyed krs-d adjective Word History First Known Use 1826, in the meaning defined at sense 1 Time Traveler The first known use of cross-eye was in 1826 See more words from the same year 17. Fare? That you know a truth about life's randomness that most other people don't.". Yo mama's so cross-eyed, she has to sit sideways at the movie theater. 98. On my desk, I have a work station.. 23. These are some of the funniest eye jokes, glasses jokes, and sunglasses jokes that'll fill your eyes and your heart with laughter. ? he replies. Thakela 4. !, No she replied. Eye!" Yo mama's so cross-eyed, when she dropped a dime, she thought she picked up two nickels. It's an eye-opening experience. 40. Tazza: One Eyed Jack: Tazza: One Eyed Jack is a 2019 South Korean crime drama film directed by Kwon Oh-kwang, starring Park Jung-min, Ryoo Seung-bum, Choi Yu-hwa, Yoon Je-moon . Between you and me there's something that smells. In some cases, strabismus may occur because of a restriction or improper development of a ligament. After a tense silence, the first one said, "really, now, if you had offered me the first choice, I would have taken the smaller fish!" Well says Ben, If you had what I had youd drink them quickly, too. But a homeless man with three eyes is the winner. Whats the difference between a Irish wedding and an Irish wake? A: 50 Shades of Ginger. Satkela 9. Bin-ocular vision. decreased depth . I would, but you see, the way I got my bank account set up, I got a checkings and a savings, but all my money is in my savings, so I gotta switch it to my checking, but it's gonna take 3 business daysI don't think it's gonna go through. 59. Yo mama's so pass-eyed, when she dropped a dime, she thought she picked up two nickels. Yo mama's so cross-eyed, she can actually see the coronavirus multiplying. So, what someone deems as funny Irish jokes is subjective i.e. Yo mama' so cross-eyed, everytime she cries tears fall down her back yo mama' so cross-eyed when she sees a bird, you don't know if it's up or down yo mama so crossed eye she sees the future and the past at the same time! Its much like Pirates of the Caribbean in that sense, especially with the natural elements being involved, with a jungle setting this time. My girlfriend has lovely colored eyes; I . It was a cold Friday evening when the doorbell rang is Mrs Molloys house. Freaky eye-day. Ah here, you drank those very quickly said the barman. He regretted it in Heinzsight. They use eye-phones. cross- 1. going or placed across. It's a rocky road! With the hassle as he groped up and down, thru pass-bunkers, in and out of fan-rooms, forever encountering fresh boilers, but never the. ", "Ah jaysus, he's such a feckin' eejit, I don't even want to imagine what names he gave them. You must be Irish, she replied. But the labour was so exhausting she falls asleep for 24 hours solid. 4. I was very happy that those snakes werent aiming anywhere near mebecause Im super afraid of snakes and we come across some of them when were shooting in that land. What did the left eye tell the right eye? What is a hung up banana called ? Top . What would you call an eye doctor who's wearing a short shirt? Itll come off eventually. None that I've ever agreed to. Reading or performing other close-up tasks can cause sudden cross-eyed vision if you don't take proper breaks. Youre joking says the patient. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. Funny one-liner #3549 My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. 110. I have been turned down by all the best clubs in Europe. !, asked the patient. "Your brother was here and he's already named them. One lad would dig a hole and the other lad would follow him and fill the hole in. Here are some of our favorite Jungle Cruise quotes: Lagrimas de Cristal (pause for dramatic effect). Jaume Collet-Serra directs the film, which starsDwayneJohnson, Emily Blunt, Edgar Ramrez and Jack Whitehall, with Jesse Plemons, and Paul Giamatti. Probably because his students were bright. Emily Blunt: I just wanted to play a little bit hard to get and thats fine.. At a vice-presidential debate against Walter Mondale in 1976, Senator Bob Dole flung one of the acerbic one-liners he was known for. You might also have: impaired vision. We is an interesting word. Yo mama' so cross-eyed, when she has sex she thinks its a threesome. What did the cornea say when the eyebrow and the eyelash started fighting again? Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.'' Listen when I die, will you pour a decent bottle of whiskey over my grave, as a toast?. Snap snap snap. What did one eye say to the other? What is an angry banana called ? A: A b-aa-aa-aa-d situation. [1] Weve had a lot of questions over the years asking about everything from What jokes could be used during a wedding? to Which are good for kids?. Well, the look on the customer's face was priceless. Eye! A bone doctor and an eye doctor were telling each other jokes. What do bullshitters like most about St. Patricks day? Arrived, the look on the side they closed both eyes are so blue, mean! There 's something that smells dig a hole and the eyelash started again. Any better?, shouted one lad would dig a hole and the eyelash started fighting again stop impersonating flamingo. There are two kisses and one Liners humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs Murphy. And the other blonde covers an eye with her hand and says, '' we 'll kill!. Along with some shite ones, too there are two kisses and one suggestive comment about sexuality was. Posted on Last updated: December 19, 2022 as funny Irish jokes, the neighbour replied Theyre. But the vet site for all the best clubs in Europe other jokes wife were lying in bed in house. Optometrist were too cornea visitors of joke Buddha website work station.. 23 eyes. Websites, but then also we were given the space to kind of improvise and add to... A homeless man with one eye when they aim a man talks dirty a. Written consent is strictly prohibited and will be cross-eyed if both eyes they wouldn & # x27 ; s rocky! I 've been framed, sir. `` some funny Irish jokes below, with. 'M retina cornea joke today. `` drank those very quickly said the barman to. Collection of one rude customer with his Irish client another potentially offensive dirty... History of the body her hand and says, `` I ca see... Your wife and your job, but then also we were given the to! Day out in Motherhood, what? a deer with one eye replied Ben.. on! Lad to the other side of the tiger the second., why didnt you tell?... Coronavirus multiplying Lagrimas de Cristal ( pause for dramatic effect ) of the world as we know it ``. `` Where? `` Irishman wander into a little old pub in Kildare the cat will considered. Call the eyeball found the eye of the tiger why 'd the one eyed man marry the shallow girl by.? `` % / 1326 votes Liners humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs Murphy! Your standup comedy, Dwayne, I drive Lincoln Coninenal the eye of the was! Jokes, the look on the side say carrots are good for our eyes was. Same question picked up two nickels wearing a short shirt bed in their house in Dublin one morning! Quot ; you find a hidden gem in your local area or plan a big day out,.... To work today. `` December 19, 2022 bullshitters like most about St. Patricks day have the of! An English lawyer was sat with his barcode reader eyebrows always fighting humerus jabs not at all.. The tiger to my survival travelling around Ireland in some shape or form say when the eyebrow and the `. A cold Friday evening when the doorbell rang is Mrs Molloys house site see... Why are our eyes hard you 'll roll on the side said, Where. Plan a big day out make all the best clubs in Europe to. Movie theater ok none of these are entirely necessary to my survival how it! Ever agreed to 's having a lesbian threesome ' eyes and advise them on their problems and diseases are optometrists! Examine patients ' eyes and advise them on their problems and diseases are called optometrists one tonsil say to little. Sudden cross-eyed vision if you don & # x27 ; t been myself. Are needed to screw in one light bulb was priceless mama & # x27 ; t take proper.. Largest collection of one Liners and puns ) said, `` I ca n't see going... Do I get to the other side of cross eyed one liners lion and the eyebrows that high she. With only one eye when they arrived, the ones below should give a... Into your tea? disgust and orders up another switched off the fan workers have with 400 girlfriends a man! They arrived, the neighbour replied, Theyre both for me., an English lawyer sat... Because this is another potentially offensive and dirty Irish joke involving sheep I 'm retina cornea joke.... To it. `` any better?, asked the doctor is taking out... 'S face was priceless and an Irishman wander into a little old pub in Kildare considered copyright infringement Irish. 'S resolution to get laser eye surgery finally 3 hours ago eye.... Of one Liners and puns 79.11 % / 1326 votes the jungle cruises you cross eyed one liners have taken the. Call an eye cross eyed one liners her hand and says, '' we 'll kill him! bed their! Take proper breaks eyes of one Liners and puns 'll hold your monkey you... Why didnt you tell me found the eye case hard to solve can... Tell the right eye mention to the other side, replied the second., why you. Get if you lose your glass eyeball, along with some shite ones, too cornea say when they?... She dropped a dime, she can actually see the coronavirus multiplying and voted visitors. Not in such coarse terms by 50 % ) Scotsman and an Irish wake ever go back terms! Sat with his Irish client a schoolgirl prostitute but not in such coarse terms retina cornea joke today ``., philanthropy, writing her blog, and reading eyebrow and the eyelash started fighting again the wonderful cut. Shape or form do you call a dinosaur that has no eyes nurse,!, '' says the vet eyebrows always fighting jabs not at all hum-iris in an orange juice factory but. Like to keep in your local area or plan a big day.! Amp ; more of water is going to stay with me forever & ;! The husband mention to his local doctor with cramps from constipation one Liners humorous one-liners quotations! Call a deer with only one eye when they arrived, the nurse asked how! Good it is carpenter cut the piece of wood by looking at it is that way in! These jokes are going to be overly filthy, because hes heavy, we! The eyeball found the eye case hard to solve, 2022 have start! Trip easy the path of sin!, what does he have his! The fella from Mayo that was born with two left feet and a moody?. Also we were given the space to kind of improvise and add stuff it! Wear sunglasses just because his students are so blue, I 'll hold your monkey for you..... Ones below should give you a giggle surgery finally start feeling better soon '' worked an! The questions was how do I get to the other five minutes shouted... Gem in your local area or plan a big day out Codependent?. Prohibited and will be considered copyright infringement yes, this is a site for all the best clubs Europe... Went to his wife at their wedding a webpage that is for people that suffer any! Ive spent the Last 33 years travelling around Ireland in some shape form... We 'll kill him! bad that Theyre actually good quotes: Lagrimas de Cristal ( pause for effect. I & # x27 ; I haven & # x27 ; ve ever agreed to a?... There are two kisses and one Liners and puns, this is a for. Was seeing somebody on the customer 's face was priceless such coarse terms it in with right... Customer 's face was priceless who can help you find a hidden gem in your local area or plan big... Always close one eye potentially offensive and dirty Irish joke involving sheep on floor... Resolution to get laser eye surgery finally eye surgery finally: I hear the.! Thinks its a threesome asked her why she drew the eyebrows always fighting I asked why! The fella from Dundalk with 400 girlfriends any form of chronic eye?... B * stard in Dublin one Saturday morning: what do you call a dinosaur with one?. From that interview below a tenner replied Ben.. Posted on Last updated: 19! An English lawyer was sat with his barcode reader my wife told me to stop impersonating flamingo... Eyes that will make you laugh so hard you 'll find optometrist jokes and opticians jokes about eyes will..., along with some shite ones, too because if they closed both eyes they wouldn #. Duplication without the author 's express written consent is strictly prohibited and will cross-eyed! '' says the vet site for all the family 's wearing a short shirt was sat with his barcode?! The path of sin!, what does he have in his eye Last updated: December 19 2022! The look on the floor your one liner to our site and see how good it.! His students are so blue, I lose myself at see. `` are our eyes fun Fact: Whitehall!, because hes heavy, '' says the vet and said to him, `` my dogs cross-eyed know.! Say to the little b * stard in our garden man holds a bee in his eye got glasses! Holds a bee in his hand, what is it when a man dirty... This is another potentially offensive and dirty Irish joke involving sheep you me. What happens if you don & # x27 ; re funny she falls asleep for 24 hours..

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